How to Recognise When Your Body Is in Fight‑or‑Flight
Fight‑or‑flight isn’t a mindset or a personality type. It isn’t something you can override with positive thinking or willpower. It is a biological state — an exact, intelligent physiological response designed to keep you alive.
When the body senses threat, whether obvious or subtle, the nervous system moves automatically into protection. This response is ancient and efficient. The challenge is not that it exists, but that many of us end up living inside it far longer than our biology intended.
What Fight‑or‑Flight Actually Is
Fight‑or‑flight is governed by the sympathetic nervous system — the branch responsible for mobilisation and protection.
When activated, your body:
• Releases adrenaline and cortisol
• Pulls blood toward major muscle groups
• Increases heart rate and breathing
• Suppresses digestion and rest‑repair processes
• Heightens vigilance and sensory alertness
These responses are lifesaving during immediate danger. They become harmful when they are constantly triggered by stress, emotional unpredictability, or unresolved experiences.
Early and Subtle Signs Your Body Is in Survival Mode
• Tight chest or shallow breathing
• Racing or irregular heartbeat
• Digestive issues or appetite changes
• Difficulty falling or staying asleep
• Jaw tension, headaches, or muscle tightness
• Unintended weight loss
• Persistent anxiety or unease
• Irritability or emotional numbness
• Feeling constantly on edge
• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
• Inability to fully relax
• Overworking or staying constantly busy
• Feeling guilty for resting
• People‑pleasing or over‑explaining
• Avoiding conflict
• Reaching for numbing behaviours
Why This Happens
Your nervous system doesn’t differentiate between physical danger, emotional unpredictability, chronic criticism, relational instability, or ongoing stress.
How Survival Mode Shows Up in Relationships
• Emotional unsafety
• Inconsistent communication
• Criticism or withdrawal
• Monitoring someone’s mood
• Feeling responsible for stability
Fight‑or‑Flight in Toxic or Abusive Relationships
• Warm‑cold behavioural swings
• Dismissal, minimisation, blame, gaslighting
• Punishing or unpredictable communication
• Boundary violations
• Criticism, volatility, or control
• Walking on eggshells
Responses include:
• Hypervigilance
• Anxiety around messages or silence
• Digestive issues
• Sleep disruption
• Freezing or shutting down
• Fear‑based decision‑making
Why You Can’t Just “Relax”
Safety must be felt — not reasoned into. Body‑based practices are essential.
“What has my body been trying to protect me from?”
You are not broken or behind. Your body has been protecting you.
Anne ˙⋆✮.